March 30, 2004
Tonight I had a long talk with Percy about Ethan and everything that happened, and I understand things a lot better than I did before.
I'm not sure what made me start talking to him about Ethan, but once I did it was like I just couldn't stop. I told him everything. How Randall made me feel important. How he told me I was special. How he said the things I was doing would help Giles. How I thought he was my friend and understood me better than anyone else ever had. How it all turned out to be a lie, and that what he really wanted was to hurt Giles and how stupid I am to have ever believed a single word he said.
I guess I was sort of crying by the time that I stopped talking because Percy gave me his handkerchief. Then he told me that he wanted me to listen to him very carefully. He asked if I thought Giles is intelligent. It seemed like a duh! kind of question but I said 'sure, he's the smartest person I know.' Then he asked why, if I think Giles is so smart, do I expect myself to be a better judge of character than Giles was when he was a teenager.
Of course, he used words that sounded a lot like ones Giles would have used, but I've got really good at translating from old English Guy to American teenager.
I thought about it and maybe he is right. Anyway, we talked about it a little more and Percy said he thought I was smart too, and that Ethan was a 'complete and utter bastard.'
Afterward I tried to give his handkerchief back. (Even if it was kinda soggy.) But he said I could keep it just in case I felt like crying any more. The strange thing is I don't think I will feel like crying anymore. Percy is right. Giles is smart, so am I, and Ethan is a bastard.
Oops, gotta go. I just noticed the time. Buffy and Giles are patrolling tonight and Percy said he wanted to talk to all of us (Mark and Carrie, too) while they're gone. Wonder what's up with that?