April 14, 2004
We woke up this morning and Buffy's gone and Giles is going absolutely crazy.
We know who did it, but I don't know what to do about it.
It's all my fault. If I hadn't been so stupid and talked to him then none of this would ever have happened.
What was I thinking?
It's later now.
We're trying magic to find her. They're going to try to read me too.
I'll do ANYTHING to help but nothing's working so far.
Please, please, please let Buffy be all right. I don't know what I would do if something happened to her again.
They think they found her and they're going to after her.
Carrie's here with me. She tried to talk to me about my feelings about Randall and I didn't know what to tell her.
She talks about it like it was rape. Maybe it kinda was. I have all these mixed up feelings and all I can think about is that I want Buffy back.
And I'm worried about Mark. He called and I didn't know what to tell him.
I don't want him involved... My life's too fucked up (Yes, I said that, and I'll say it again, my life is fucked up!) to have a relationship.
I'm going to tell him to stay away.
Please, please, let Buffy be okay.